


The Yeast of Thoughts and Minds

by TheMomeRath



Category: Haikyuu!!, Strawinsky and the Mysterious House (2012)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Memes, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-12 22:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20572325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMomeRath/pseuds/TheMomeRath
Summary: Hinata has a nightmare about a creature with terrible priorities that hates volleyball.





	The Yeast of Thoughts and Minds

**Author's Note:**

> You will not understand a single bit of this if you have not seen this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ieCjpmliSg
> 
> This is such enormous crack, based solely on a thought I had while very, very tired, which was: Hinata hates school work and would not get along well with a creature who only values knowledge and learning.
> 
> Please, enjoy.

Hinata squinted in confusion.  _ Where am I? _ All around him, stacks of books climbed up, far,  _ far _ up until they disappeared into darkness far above. Loose texts lay scattered about the floor, mingled with candles and cobwebs. He rubbed at his eyes and sat up slowly, dropping his hands to rub at his arms, where goosebumps raised all across his skin.  _ What is this place? _

Likely stirred by the cold breeze that blew around him in the cavernous room, the cover of one of the books flipped open. Hinata made a surprised sound and scrambled to his hands and knees. The next pages of the offending book flipped lightly with the wind, and despite knowing it was the wind—  _ it has to be _ — he still remained wary. 

Then, something behind him moved. It wasn’t the light  _ thwak _ of another book opening, or maybe one falling off of one of the enormously tall stacks, but rather… something wetter. Something… sticky. 

He scampered forward as quietly as he could, trying to make out what the sound was coming from, but all he could make out was more shadow, more candles, and more books.  _ So many books… _

Convinced there must be a way out of the bizarre labyrinthine room, he climbed to his feet and started to walk away. He turned before he got too far, realizing he wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking for— he’d woken up here, he had no idea if any of his belongs were here with him, aside from— 

He patted at his chest and waist.  _ Am I in my school uniform? _ Once again, he turned to try to find a way out, this time doubly confused. He wouldn’t have worn his school uniform anywhere weird like this— whatever this was— and this sure as hell wasn’t the school library. Or any other room in the school, for that matter. 

He frowned as he moved slowly through the darkness, realizing his pockets were empty.  _ Dang it. My phone’s missing. _ He then gasped quietly. _ I have no idea if I’m going to be late for volleyball practice or not. _ He swung a foot forward in frustration, sending one of the books on the floor sliding several feet. 

When it came to a stop, however, there was still sound.  _ That wet sound again. _ And this time, it wasn’t just a light, distant noise, but it was definitely a constant squelching-sticking-whooshing kind of noise. And it seemed to be getting louder. Closer. 

Hinata panicked, and took several steps backwards, and collided with a stack of books only slightly taller than himself, and tumbled over with them, yelping in surprise. The sound— the creature,  _ it has to be something alive _ — seemed to increase in speed. Climbing back to his feet, he tried to run further away from the source, but tripped over the books under him, knocking another stack over with his flailing. 

The squelching was dangerously close, and somehow, Hinata felt paralyzed— this wasn’t anything like during a match, with predictable motions and a confined court. This was something chasing him in a foreign world, seemingly built only of books and bookshelves. “I should really get to the library more,” he whispered to himself. 

That must have been the final straw. A few meters in front of him, an undulating mass about twice his height rounded a stack if books and  _ slosh _ ed toward him. He did his best to sit still, arms in front of his face and eyes shut tight, in hopes that whatever this creature was would somehow be unable to see him if he just stayed still. 

He could tell by the shadow that crossed his field of vision, however, that it was futile. Warm air blew across the skin of his forearms, and he parted them slightly. 

What he saw was a face. 

Not a completely human face, but it was definitely human-ish. It was connected to a mass of… what looked like flesh, and skin, and _so_ _much_ of it, and the creature had leaned over him where he lay, leaning down, studying him. 

“H-hello?” he asked tentatively after a moment, growing nauseous from the sensation of the grubworm-looking creature’s breath on his skin. 

It seemed to inhale after his question, and he braced himself for the worst. 

“Fascinating.”

He blinked his eyes open.  _ What? _

It seemed to nod, then raised its head and reared to its full height. “Are you here to learn?”

The way it chewed each word made Hinata shudder. “No thank you.” He inched backwards. “I— I’d like to leave. Please.”

The creature tsk’ed. “My, my, what’s the rush? You’re in quite the library, young one.” It squelched forward with every inch that he backed away. “Full of scrumptious books, delicious material for all sorts of  _ delicious  _ learning.” It licked its lips, a wet tongue slipping out between its thick sausage like lips.

_ Does this thing  _ eat _ books? _ He thought to himself, but shook the thought away. “No, I think I’m good.”

“Pity,” It turned and squelched away, leaving a trail of clear slime behind it on the floor and the few books it slid over. “Knowledge is truly the most glorious pursuit. Perhaps even more so than any food, or…” It picked up a volleyball, which HInata hadn’t even noticed was there before. “Perhaps even greater than any sport.”

_ Am I in hell? _ “You’re wrong!” Hinata protested. “Volleyball is so much fun!” He clambered to his feet. 

The creature turned its wormlike head to face him. “Is it, now?” It turned, still holding the ball in its hands. “Well, perhaps we can see about that.” With that, it leaned in, unhinged its jaw, and swallowed the entire volleyball, a sickening  _ schlorp _ followed by an unpleasant smacking of its lips. 

After a few moments, Hinata heard a rumbling noise, and instinctively looked to his feet, expecting the ground to be shaking. Instead, he heard gagging sounds, and looked forward to see the creature doubled over. Over and over, it retched, and after almost thirty seconds of painful sounding noises, back up came the volleyball, deflated, dripping with saliva, crumpled and forever unusable.

The creature held the deflated ball in its hands. “Disgusting. No, indeed. This is not remotely satisfying material.”

“That’s not even how you play volleyball!” Hinata shouted in dismay. He knew he should be just a little more terrified, but somehow, his frustration that somehow someone would be so  _ stupid _ as to not know how to use a volleyball overrode any of his instincts. “You have to play with a team!”

“Hmm, interesting.” It dropped the volleyball, which hit the sound with an unfortunate  _ plop _ . Then, suddenly, the creature was upon him, arching its back and staring down at him again. “I think you have some knowledge that is not in my books.”

Hinata swallowed. “Are you… going to eat me, too?”

“Perhaps.” Hinata heard quiet thumping all around him, and saw to his horror that several of the books had fallen from the stacks and were opening, their pages flipping wildly about as the creature wriggled gleefully.

It smiled, its toothless jaw opening wide from side to side. It was the worst possible smile Hinata had ever seen.  _ It’s scarier than Kageyama.  _

“I do like to know a bit more before I… immerse myself in my learning,” it said, leaning down a little closer. Its breath stank of mildew. “What are you, my child?”

“I’m…” he swallowed. “I’m Hinata. From Karasuno. I’m a spiker.”

“Interesting.” It smiled even wider.

“What… are you?” Hinata asked, cowering in absolute fear.

“Me?” It laughed, a low laugh, punctuated with wheezing. “I’m the yeast of thoughts and minds.”

“What does that mean?” His voice was only a whimper.

The creature’s eyes sparkled. “I’m the Globglogabgalab.”

With that, it opened its mouth wide enough to swallow him whole.

* * *

Hinata screamed. 

Tanaka sat up immediately. “Jesus, what the fuck, dude,” he mumbled from a few feet to Hinata’s left. “What is it?”

“The Gob— the Glop— The Gopgolap—”

“Shit, did you get hit in the head too many times today?” Tanaka asked, sitting up straighter. “Damn it, Daichi’s gonna be  _ pissed _ —”

Ennoshita stirred next to Tanaka, poking his head up from underneath the blanket. “I think it was a dream, Ryu.”

“No!” Hinata protested, still disoriented. It was— I was—” He stopped, blinked a couple times and took measure of his surroundings. “Oh.” He lowered his head a little. “Yeah. Just a dream.”

Tanaka whistled. “Some dream, huh? Was it like, a ghost?”

Hinata hung his head in shame, suddenly recalling in vivid detail the  _ very _ silly video that Kenma had showed him over in the Nekoma sleeping area. “It was a monster. From a video Kenma showed me.”

Tanaka snorted, and Ennoshita almost immediately clamped a hand over his mouth with a decently loud  _ smack _ . Hinata watched as Tanaka pried his hand off. “Sorry, sorry,” he said, muffled. “Guess we gotta make sure to screen videos before we let Kenma show them to you,” he said, laughing quietly. 

Hinata was glad it was dark so no one could see him blush. “No, I’ll be fine. It was just weird.” He lay back down, letting his head nestle into his pillow. “It told me it didn’t like volleyball and then it tried to  _ eat _ me,” he mumbled. 

“Shit, it didn’t like volleyball? Well, I can see why that’s—”

“Are you going to be able to get back to sleep?” Ennoshita interrupted. 

Hinata nodded into the darkness. “Yeah. Definitely.”

“Good. You’re gonna need it.”

“So threatening,” Tanaka joked. Hinata heard Ennoshita scold him. 

He closed his eyes and willed himself back into unconsciousness, hoping not to see that  _ awful _ creature  _ ever _ again.

**Author's Note:**

> I mean, what did you expect? I love these boys with all my heart but they're all so incredibly dumb. 
> 
> Did you catch the tiny ship happening in the background?
> 
> Just for fun, my guess is that Kenma showed him this particular iteration of the video (which is truly a banger): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oy-FQk_hd6M
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you at least laughed.


End file.
